


A Requiem Laid To Rest

by Aspenthekitsune



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Fighting, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Minor Character Death, Misunderstandings, Non-Graphic Violence, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Past proposal, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Touch-Starved Deceit | Janus Sanders, Yelling, mentions of Stockholm Syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29055978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aspenthekitsune/pseuds/Aspenthekitsune
Summary: “And what a miracle that is, dear. People wanting to spend time with me. I never thought I’d see the day,” He sighed with a wistful smile. “I only wish you were here to see it.” He added quietly, intimately. Virgil almost felt bad for spying on such a private moment, but something kept him there. “I’m sure you’d want to kick Morality’s teeth in first, but you’d warm up eventually. I know that you’d find it in you to recall the days we had all laughed together and you’d forgive the old coot.”Virgil’s face twisted in confusion. Who would hate Patton?“And you’d love to see the others, Cre. I know that you’d be proud of the boys. Remus truly has grown, you know? Still as spontaneous as ever. I think that he has grown attached to a certain nerd over here. You should see the look in his eyes, love. He’s as lovesick as a puppy, I tell you. Young love is quite the journey, isn’t it mi Angel oscuro.” He didn’t laugh this time, and Virgil swears that he sees a single tear fall to the ground.___Virgil has never seen Janus look so broken, not even after HIM. Who could this mystery man be? And where had he gone? Virgil had many questions, but he soon found out that he may not like the answers...
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Original Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 32





	A Requiem Laid To Rest

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, guys, gals, and non-binary pals! Just a heads up that this story, while not particularly descriptive, does cover some pretty dark topics, so read the tags and be warned! Be ready for lots of dialogue and lots of angst. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy this! Also, this isn't beta read in the slightest, so if something doesn't make sense, I can answer any questions in the comments! Also, if I have missed something in the tags, please let me know and I will add it! Thank you!

There were very few sides that remembered the times from before the split. It was so long ago that all sides had lived in harmony, coexisting peacefully within the mind of a growing child. However, as that child grew, there were arguments. Quarrels that couldn’t be solved with a simple ‘this is wrong’ or ‘this is right’; paradoxes and shades of gray flooded the mindscape, filling each and every head with doubt that things could ever be as peaceful as they once were. The king splitting was the final straw, and suddenly, one house became two. Curiosity became dark creativity, the newly split half’s mind filling with grotesque thoughts much too mature for a child so young and alone; motivation became ambition, who was cast away for always dreaming unattainable things; and self became deceit, scorned by adults and children alike for keeping Thomas safe. 

The core sides continued their lives happily in the conscious mind, forgetting so easily the childhood memories they shared with the newly dubbed ‘dark sides’ who lived in the cold shadows of the subconscious. Creativity, Morality, and Logic were all happy to simply lie to themselves, following themselves into believing that there was nothing before the split. No memories meant nothing to mourn. Deceit couldn’t blame them, not one bit. Mourning was a long and painful thing. The mindscape had wanted to separate the sides, to make the light hate the dark. It was easier to simply bend to its will then spend years kicking and screaming over something that was bound to happen. 

The dark sides, however, had never forgotten the younger years. Granted, there was really only one dark side who could properly remember that far back. Remus was newly split from Roman when the darker traits were thrust into the cold walls of the subconscious. Remus had said that he remembered the split itself, and he remembered the day or so before the split, but the rest had been blocked from his mind. Paranoia, who later became Anxiety, had appeared years after the split, only coming to existence in Thomas’ early teen years. Ambition remembered, very vividly in fact, but sadly, he never got to see the day when things got better, gone years before the fateful day. But then again, even if he had lived beyond Thomas’ thirtieth birthday, he was lost far before then, broken beyond repair. It was a shame that the never got to see the glorious day, and what glory it was...

It was the first of May in 2020 when Janus was finally accepted by Thomas, the yellow door to his room moving to the hallways of the conscious mind, placed right beside a jade green door. It wasn’t an easy transition, and the days following were far from glorious, but with time things smoothed out. It was nearly a year later now, and the sides had worked out most of their differences. Roman and Janus still had a rocky relationship, and there was still more hurt and anger between the two of them that had yet to be unearthed, but they got along well most of the time. At first, Virgil had seemed wary of his fellow former dark sides, but the core sides had come to realize that it wasn’t Janus or Remus that the anxious side was against, but rather the memories that they brought. 

When Virgil had first been accepted by Thomas and begun living with the core sides, it became clear to Patton, Logan, and Roman that Virgil had not had the best life in the subconscious. Virgil had never opened up about his life with the others, but it was clear in the way that he acted. The first and most obvious thing about Virgil that was brought to the other’s attention, was his extreme aversion to conflict. If the anxious side ever made a mistake, even the smallest one, he would apologize profusely, often times working himself into a panic attack after doing something as simple as accidentally brushing arms with one of the others as they were passing each other. It was a far cry from the snarky emo that they had first met when Virgil had shown up in his first videos. Now, some of this could be chalked up to him being the embodiment of anxiety, but there were other things that simply seemed too big to be attributed to his trait. 

It began when Virgil’s room finally moved up to be with the light sides. Patton, of course, had immediately invited Virgil to eat meals with them, and tried his hardest to get their newest team member to join them for dinner. Eventually, Virgil caved, but it was clear that he was ready to bolt at a moment’s notice from the second he entered the kitchen. There was an intense fear radiating off of Virgil as the side sat down at the dinner table, hunched into himself as he accepted the plate of food that was put before him. It was more often than not that Virgil didn’t come down for meals, hesitantly accepting them when Patton brought a plate of food to the anxious side’s room. The fear on its own was odd, but it was truly the combination of everything that lead the others to the conclusion that there had likely been an abuser in the subconscious. It was not an assumption that was taken lightly, and they never brought it up with Virgil or any of the other sides, as it truly was none of their business, but the signs could not be ignored. The flinching at every movement, the disappearing when anyone showed a trace of anger, the nights where if you listen closely outside of Virgil’s door, you could hear whimpers and the tossing and turning of sheets as the anxious side dreamed. 

At first, it had been assumed that Janus and Remus were the perpetrators, which had only fueled the other’s resentment towards the dark sides. However, when Remus was accepted, it became clear that the darker side of creativity, while brash and disturbing, was no different than Virgil. The creative side did not beg on his knees or stay quietly to the side as Virgil did, no, but the signs were there in other ways. You could see it in the way that Remus refused to show weakness, often starting fights in desperation so as not to seem weak. You can see it in the way that he immediately scoots closer to Virgil if any of the other sides start fighting, or how he cowers almost imperceptibly when Roman brings out his sword. It could be seen in the way how, despite his brash nature, if someone threatened to shut him up, his eyes would go wide, and he would shrink away. You could not tell the duke to be quiet in front of Thomas, but if it was just the sides? He would immediately go unnervingly still. 

From there, it was only logical to assume that Janus was the reason for their odd behaviors, but if that was true then why did Remus speak so fondly of the snake-like side? If Deceit truly was an abuser, then why did Remus go down to the subconscious to visit Janus and come back happier than before without a bruise in sight? Deceit had seemed like a likely option when he had first revealed himself during the filming of one of Thomas’ videos. His snake-like appearance, impersonation skills, and sarcastic personality made for a simple conclusion. But then things grew more complicated. Deceit became Janus, and Janus was revealed to be a protector, not a persecutor. And once the side had moved into the conscious side of the mindscape, it was revealed that the snake side, while much better at hiding and working past it, did not leave the subconscious unscathed either, his wounds were just hidden behind masks. It was only then that the sides considered that, perhaps, the situation wasn’t as simple as it had seemed. 

Janus was odd, but not in a Remus way. He was constantly collected within the view of the others, never once stumbling over a word unintentionally, or snapping at the others. He was constant, but too constant to be real. He had small habits that didn’t go unnoticed by his fellow sides, and when asked about them he would always have the same excuses. Most of these were small things, such as excusing himself from movie night if Remus picked a particularly gory movie, despite having no issues with blood otherwise; always fiddling with his gloves in a particular motion, his fingers always slightly catching on a particular spot on the base of his left ring finger. There was one habit of his that was particularly curious. It seemed that every week or so, the snake-like side would disappear for a few hours in the early morning, usually reappearing right in time for everyone to sit down and have breakfast. 

It was one of these days when Virgil got curious and decided to follow Deceit to see where he was going. It was about five or so in the morning as Virgil trailed Janus silently down the hallway. Janus was carrying a bouquet of flowers, as he walked. It was a simple arrangement, composed primarily of hydrangeas of different colors, blooms of pink, purple, and blue, accented by a few delicate forget-me-nots and a single while tulip in the center. Its delicate colors seemed almost out of place among the shadows of the dark, winding corridors that made up the dark side of the mindscape. It was a long time before Virgil exited the never-ending hallways that made up the subconscious, he was surprised to step out into an area he had never seen before. Unlike any of the other areas, this place wasn’t a room at all, but rather an open field that ran on for as long as the eye could see. The sky was overcast, gray clouds looming over their heads as Janus approached what looked to be a headstone that sat next to a scrawny tree. It was a rather pathetic looking setup, but Janus didn’t seem to mind as he kneeled in front of the grave, gently placing the flowers down with caution. To Virgil’s surprise, the older side also removed his hat and gloves, which the side had _never_ done before barre the time that Janus had revealed his name, and even _then,_ the glove had quickly gone back on. This time, though, the yellow fabric was laid down with care on the grass. 

It was silent for a long time, the deceitful side simply sitting by the stone as Virgil desperately tried to figure out what was happening. To the best of Virgil’s knowledge, sides couldn’t die. He had seen a side disappear before, and ducking out was apparently an option, but if a side had ducked out, then Thomas shouldn’t be functioning correctly, and the host was doing fine, so who could it be? And better yet, what was Janus’ relationship to the side where he felt comfortable taking off his gloves when addressing the side, even if only hypothetically? Virgil’s question was answered as Janus spoke in a soft voice. It was a voice similar to the one he had used when Remus and Virgil were children, soft, compassionate, and caring, but it was _different_ somehow. 

“Good morning, love,” Janus said softly, his eyes latched onto the stone in front of him. There was an indescribable sort of resignation in his voice, but it was still much more emotional than his typical drawl. “I’m sorry it has been so long since I have last visited you. Things have been great, but it’s hard to find a moment to get away with so many people who want to spend time with you.” He said, chuckling sadly. 

“And what a miracle that is, dear. People _wanting_ to spend time with me. I never thought I’d see the day,” He sighed with a wistful smile. “I only wish you were here to see it.” He added quietly, intimately. Virgil almost felt bad for intruding on such a private moment, but his curiosity outweighed his guilt. “I’m sure you’d want to kick Morality’s teeth in first, but you’d warm up eventually. I know that you’d find it in you to recall the days we had all laughed together and you’d forgive the old coot.” 

Virgil’s face twisted in confusion. Who would hate Patton? Not even _Janus_ hated Patton anymore! Sure, there had been a bit of resentment, but surely not enough to want to _hurt_ the puffball. 

“And you’d love to see the others, Cre. I know that you’d be proud of the boys. Remus truly has grown, you know? Still as spontaneous as ever, only now he had his _brother_ to help him with his shenanigans.” The side said with a chuckle. “I think that he has grown attached to a certain nerd over here. You should see the _look_ in his eyes, love. He’s as lovesick as a puppy, I tell you. Young love is quite the journey, isn’t it mi Angel oscuro.” He didn’t laugh this time, and Virgil swears that he sees a single tear fall to the ground. Janus voice is rough with emotion as he continues. 

“You know, sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, scared to death at the mere thought of you, yet somehow wishing that you will come knocking at my door carrying those butterscotch biscuits I used to love so much,” Virgil remembered those cookies. They had stopped having them shortly after _he_ disappeared. Virgil’s mind was grasping at threads to try and figure out who he could be talking about.

“You always seemed to know when I needed you. You’d come in every time I had a nightmare, bringing in a plate of cookies and a cup of tea.” Janus’ voice was choked with tears as he continued, and Virgil nearly turned around and left, uncomfortable with seeing this much vulnerability and emotion that Janus had never shown before. “And you’d wrap your arms around me, holding me to your chest as I cried, and you’d whisper the _sweetest_ words in my ear, lies of how brave I was, and how kind, and handsome, and _charming_ I was.” He let out a laugh that came out as more of a strangled sob, wrapping his arms tightly around himself in a cruel mimicry of a hug. “They were all _lies,_ of course. _Horrible, horrible_ lies, but you somehow believed them. You would tell me every time how amazing I was, and how much you _l-loved me.”_ Janus’s voice broke, and the side was reduced to sobs. His words barely coherent through the full body sobs.

“A-and I _hate_ it, because _dammit, I love you too!_ I-I love you _s-so m-much,_ a-and now I h-have to w-wake up every morning kn-knowing that I-I’ll never see you again. _And it hurts like HELL CRE_!!” Janus yelled, his sadness turning into a flare of Anger as he spoke. “It hurts like _hell_ knowing that I can never hold you again, never hear your voice, never say that I’m sorry! _I fucking LOVED YOU…_ _…_ _and perhaps I still do._ ”

Janus sniffled, wiping the tears from his face. His voice was barely a whisper as he spoke again, as if admitting to committing a horrible sin.

“You know, sometimes I still wake up from a bad dream, shaking and crying, and I still run to your room, flinging open your door and calling out your name like a fool,” He admitted, hanging his head low as more tears dropped to the ground. “I hate that it’s still there, even though you’re gone; hate that your poems and paintings still sit on your desk, untouched by time. Even your world map is still up on the wall, pins and all. You always were a dreamer...” He said, and Virgil could hear the tremulous smile in his voice despite the tears that continued to fall. “I’m sorry, love, but I must be going back to the others now. They’re probably expecting me for breakfast in a bit, and I’d like to clean up, so I don’t look like a madman when I see them, red rimmed eyes truly aren’t a good look on me. I don't think it goes well with my scales.” He joked, the humor missing the mark as his words hung limp in the dead air. 

Janus whispered one last goodbye before dawning his gloves and hat and standing up. Virgil quickly ducked into the shadows, somehow remaining unseen as the deceitful side walked out, returning into the dark hallways once more. Virgil stood still for a moment, trying to think of who Janus could be talking about. It was clear by now that Janus was in a relationship with them, but Virgil didn’t remember Janus _ever_ being in a relationship with anyone, not even back when they were still considered ‘dark sides.’. Other than the terms of endearment, Janus had called the man ‘Cre’. Perhaps it could have been the original creativity? Virgil wasn’t alive during the split, but Remus had mentioned it before, so he knew that there was originally one creativity. All of the things that Janus had talked about seemed to fit the bill for a cross between Roman and Remus, so that had to be it… it had to be. Because if that wasn’t it, then there was only one other side that he had ever heard referred to as anything close to _Cre_ and it was a man he would much rather forget. Virgil shivered at the mere memory. No, Janus couldn’t have been talking about _him._ Janus was the literal embodiment of self-preservation. There was no way that he ever would have fallen for an _abuser._

Virgil slowly crept forward to the grave, his hands shaking as he kneeled down in front of the grave, his breath freezing in disbelief as he read the name on the gravestone.

_Crete Greed Sanders_

_Greed_. It was a name forbidden in the subconscious. No one ever spoke it, afraid to even mention it for fear that he might come back. Greed was abusive, always had been. Virgil couldn’t remember a time where he had ever associated that name with anything other than pain. Remus hated Greed as well, although he always seemed hesitant in calling him purely bad. Virgil knew that Remus hated the man, though. He _had to_. There was nothing that the side had done besides beat them. _Hell,_ he beat _JANUS_. So why was he so _desperately_ in love with him!? What could he possibly love in an abusive asshole who scarred those who he considered to be his _children!?_ Virgil saw red as he sunk out, leaving the grave without a second glace and rising back up into the kitchen just in time to see everyone sitting down for at the table. He shook with barely concealed rage as he sat down at his place at the table, glaring at Janus with a fiery hatred as Patton brought a stack of pancakes to the table.

“Good morning, Virge!” Patton chirped as he placed two pancakes on everyone’s plates before setting the extras down in the center of the table. Virgil muttered something in response, he honestly didn’t remember what he said. He barely ate anything, too busy scouring Janus signs of treason, for some evil part of him that would explain how he could love such a horrible side. The concerned looks from the others went unnoticed, and Virgil didn’t even look down as Janus met his unnerving glare. Everyone was pretty much done eating by the time that anyone did something about the obvious issue at hand.

“Virgil, is there something amiss?” Logan asked as they reached a lull in conversation. “You’re staring quite intensely at Janus, who, to the best of my knowledge, has been in his room all morning, and therefore should not have been able to do anything to anger you.” 

Virgil growled lowly. 

“So _that's_ what you’ve been telling them, huh? You were ‘ _in your room’_?” Virgil mocked, his voice biting and cold. “I call bullshit. Why don’t you tell them where you’ve _really_ been?” He growled, his anger only growing as Deceit’s face stayed calm and collected, never cracking under pressure. 

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re referring to, Virgil. I came downstairs for a few minutes early in the morning, but I don’t recall doing anything malicious, nor do I recall ever seeing you.” Janus deflected calmly, his back straight, mask _perfect._ But Virgil knew that there was a monster underneath. 

“Don’t play _coy_ with me, _Deceit,_ ” Virgil growled, ignoring the way that the side flinched slightly at his biting tone. “I know where you were, and I expect a _damn good_ explanation for why you said what you said to _him._ ” 

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to explain, Virgil. I don’t know what you’re referring to-” 

“ _YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT I’M REFERRING TO!”_ Virgil shouted. The air in the room was tense and oppressive as the anxious side slammed his fists down onto the table, causing everyone to flinch back, everyone except Deceit, who stood frozen in his place, panic flickering in his eyes as Virgil continued in a tone laced with hatred. “You want me to elaborate? Fine. I want to know why you were in the subconscious, talking to a grave that nobody knew about, professing your _undying love and want_ for _Greed._ fucking. _Sanders._ ” Virgil growled, his double voice kicking in as he spit out the side’s name like it was poison. 

Remus froze at the name, flinching back violently. It was a silent agreement that his name was never to be spoken. It carried too much weight for the three of them, but it seemed that for Janus, it might carry much more weight than anyone had realized. The snake-like side was frozen for a moment before responding, his voice ever calm as he responded quietly. 

“So, were you following me?” Janus stated, his eyes cold as he met Virgil’s gaze.

“And you were lying-” Virgil argued, but he was quickly cut off. 

“And you were following me where you had no business being.” Janus’ tone was cold and hard. The tender softness left without a trace, leaving only cold distrust in his heterochromatic eyes. “Whatever you heard is none of your concern, Virgil. It is my business and my business alone what I do with my free time. You never should have followed me. It wasn’t your place.” 

“Um- excuse me!? I think it _becomes_ my place when you are admitting that you want a _dead abuser_ to come back and fucking cuddle you! You are in love with the man who abused us, who abused _YOU_ for years! I think that I have a place in that!” He retorted. 

“I am not in love with an abuser, Virgil. I think you know what my opinions on Greed were.” Janus spat back, radiating a type of controlled anger that scared the ever-loving crap out of everyone, but Virgil was too mad to be fazed. 

“Oh yeah? Then what do you call the literal _speech_ that you gave!?” Virgil spat back. _“You should see the look in his eyes, **Cre**. He’s as lovesick as a puppy, I tell you. Young love is quite the journey, isn’t it **mi Angel oscuro**.”_ Virgil quoted angrily. “You literally called him your dark Angel! Unless there’s suddenly some other side who goes by the name _Crete_ that disappeared, you just told GREED that you loved him!” 

Janus was silent for a minute, his hands shaking slightly as he spoke. 

“Crete is not Greed.” Janus said quietly, much too quietly in comparison to Virgil’s angry rant. “I said that I love _Crete_. Not Greed.” Virgil growled. 

“Janus, Crete _is_ Greed. You know this. And if you didn’t the fucking headstone says it. ‘ _Crete Greed Sanders’.”_ He recites, pausing for a second after each name to drill the point home. 

“Crete is not Greed.” Janus repeated, a bit more forceful this time, the slightest tremor audible in his voice.

“Janus,” Remus tried to cut in, but he retreated back into silence the moment that he met Janus’ eyes. The creative side had seen this denial before. He knew that there was no changing his mind. Virgil was having _none of this_. 

“Get it through your _thick skull,_ Janus. Crete wasn’t a good side. He did all of that, and apparently he messed up your mind too, because I can’t think of any other reason that the literal embodiment of _self-preservation_ would love someone who did the things that Crete did.” Virgil said darkly. 

“I know damn well what _GREED_ did, Virgil, and I have the scars to prove it. Don’t you dare try to pin Greed’s actions on Crete. Crete did nothing to hurt anyone. _Crete_ loved me. It was _Greed_ who was the bad one. _They aren’t the same people_.” Janus repeated. 

“What the _hell_ Janus! What kind of weird Stockholm syndrome shit _is this_!? _HE FUCKING ABUSED YOU!!”_

“ _YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT!?”_ Janus snapped, his calm mask finally shattering under the pressure as he began to shake, squeezing his arms around himself. “ _You think I don’t remember every moment that I watched him hit you, every moment that he hit ME!? You think I don’t remember every moment that Greed spent VIOLATING me!? FORCING HIMSELF UPON ME in the form of someone who I love!? I THINK I KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT HE DID. WHAT GREED DID.”_ He yelled, gasping large breaths as his eyes welled with tears. “I know what he did because I lived through _every second_ of it. I watched the man I love turn into a heartless monster as he replaced quiet intimate moments with painful soul wrenching hurt. I _watched him_ turn from Ambition into Greed while being _powerless_ to stop him. That monster wasn’t _Crete,_ Virgil. He never has been and never will be. I don’t wear the ring from a monster that hurt me, hurt _us._ ” 

The room was silent as the information settled in. The thing that could be heard in the silence was Janus’ heaving breaths that soon settled into a normal pattern. The others watched in shock as Janus removed his left glove, his hands shaking wildly as he laid his bare hand on the table. It was adorned with a single, Victorian style ring at the base of his ring finger. It was made of three thin golden bands that formed a coiled, two headed snake, a diamond embedded in the top of each head. 

Janus remembered the moment that Crete had given it to him. It was the best day of his life. 

~~~

_Janus hummed lightly as he moved around the kitchen, his flowing movements much too beautiful to be considered simply walking. As far as Janus was concerned, he was walking around the kitchen, but Crete would argue differently, which is exactly what he did as he moved into the kitchen, wrapping his arms loosely around Janus’ waist as he caught the side from behind. Janus squeaked in surprise, but immediately relaxed with a small chuckle as he realized who it was._

_“Good morning, darling.” Janus greeted, an exasperated huff escaping him as his boyfriend spun him around, catching him in a dip and pressing a kiss to his nose before pulling Janus back upright. He was about to return the greeting, but Janus pulled him down into a proper kiss before he had the chance. Crete smirked against his lover’s lips as Janus kissed him. Crete laughed lightly as Janus pulled back with a pout on his face._

_“You, my love, are a tease.” The scaled side admonished, although there was no real bite behind his words._

_“You know you love it, to fidi mou” (my snake in Greek). A delicate pink spread across Janus’ human cheek as he smiled mischievously._

_“Now, whatever gave you that idea? Me? Love? Preposterous,” Janus teased, pecking his boyfriend on the lips before turning back to the stove and stirring a pot of soup. “Lunacy, I tell you. Old age has driven you mad, Ambition.”_

_Crete sighed behind him, although it was impossible to mask the smile in his voice as he spoke fondly._

_“I guess you are right, darling. You always are,” Janus could hear the other side shift behind him. Curiosity overwhelmed him, and he slowly turned around, gasping at the sight of Crete kneeling before him, holding out a black velvet box that held a single golden ring that formed a double headed snake with diamond encrusted into the heads. Crete’s eyes shone with pure love and adoration as he looked up at the love of his life. “Next thing you know I’ll be down on one knee asking you to love me for the rest of my life. And I know exactly what I’ll say.” He professed. “I will say, Janus Sanders, I have loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you as a child. I have always known that I have loved you, even when I yet have the words to profess how I feel to you. I have had the absolute honor of being a part of the same mindscape as you, and I have come to love everything about you and hope to find even more things to love about you in the lifetime to come. I love your witty comebacks and sarcastic sense of humor. I love the way that your face scrunches up when you’re looking at Curiosity's complex math and science problems, and I love the way your eyes light up brighter than any star when you figure out how to solve a problem that’s been troubling you. I love every scale that adorns your face, and the dimple that shows up when you truly smile. I love how selfless you are, and how you care for others with reckless abandon. I have been honored to stay by your side and get to learn new things about you every day, and I can’t imagine a life without you. Our love is one for the ages, and I promise you that I will love you for as long as I live. I guess what I’m trying to say is: Will you be mine?”_

_Janus looked to Crete with tear filled eyes, almost believing that it was a dream. But it was only a moment longer until Crete got his answer._

_Janus threw himself at his partner, clinging to Crete as though he was a lifeboat in the middle of a raging ocean, tears streaming down his face as he kissed Crete with every ounce of Passion he had before pulling back. Both of them were breathless as Janus leaned back, still tightly gripping his partner’s shirt as he whispered his reply._

_“Yes. Yes, you moron. MY moron. Yes.”_

_Crete smiled, and Janus swears that he will never forget the way he smiled as he delicately slid the ring onto Janus’ hand, cradling his hand as if it were the most precious thing in the world. Janus pulled him in for another kiss, tuning out the sound of Romulus and morality fangirling in the background. Nothing else mattered right now. He had his soulmate in his arms, and that was more than enough._

_~~~_

Janus smiled sadly as he remembered that day. It was one of the many memories that assured him that Crete was not Greed. They were not the same people, and Janus was certain of that fact. Janus toyed with the ring around his finger as he spoke softly.

“I know that you don’t understand, Virgil,” He said, his eyes locked onto the ring on his hands as he spoke. “I don’t expect you to either, and that is not an insult. It is a complicated situation, and one that was greatly painful for everyone involved. I don’t need you to understand it, I don’t even need you to _respect_ it. All I ask is that you accept that it is what it is and allow me to deal with it how I always have. I am under no false assumptions about what happened. I know that no matter what I say, Ambition did become Greed at some point, and what Greed did was far from okay. I know what happened, and I have learned to come to peace with what has happened. That doesn’t mean that I don’t miss my partner of fifteen years, and that doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten everything that has happened at the hands of Greed. What happened, happened, and there is no changing that. There is only moving forward.” 

The table fell into silence again, and Janus took it as his queue to leave. He wasn’t convinced that they hated him yet, (although Virgil might, if he had heard his entire admission to Crete. Janus had admitted to some pretty pathetic acts back there.), but regardless, he deemed it better to give the others some time to process everything that had just been dumped on them. So, reluctantly, he stood, moving to exit the kitchen when suddenly a hand grabbed at his wrist. Janus was only half surprised to turn around to see that it was Patton who had grabbed onto his sleeve. 

“Yes, Patton?” Janus inquired, waiting patiently as the fatherly figment found his voice. Morality’s voice was trembling as he spoke. 

“Janus, can I-” Patton cut himself off for a moment, taking a deep breath before trying again. “Can I give you a hug?” 

Janus’ eyebrows shot up in surprise at the question, he cautiously turned so that he was facing Patton before nodding. 

“I-I suppose,” Janus responded, quickly cut off as a pair of sturdy arms wrapped around him, pulling him close. Janus stood rigid in the hug for a moment, his eyes shining with unshed tears as the burning warmth of the hug traveled through his layers of clothing, peeling back years of carefully built defenses as a tear slipped down Janus’ face. Patton only held him tighter when he felt the tears hit his shirt, holding his Janus closely in a protective manner, despite the fact that Janus was nearly an entire head taller than him. 

“You’re safe, Janus. I promise,” Patton whispered, using his hand to rub comforting circles on the scaled side’s back as he trembled in Patton’s arms. “You don’t ever have to be alone again. We’re here for you, however you need us to be. _We love you.”_

Janus broke down, silent sobs shaking his frame as he rested his head on top of Patton’s squeezing his eyes shut as he clung to Patton like he was the only thing keeping him together. He gasped as he felt a second pair of arms join the hug, recognizing the soft material of Virgil’s hoodie as a pair of arms hugged him from the side, and eventually three more pairs of arms wrapped firmly around him, holding him tight as the lying facet cried. He cried for the love that he once had, for the loss of Crete’s arms holding him tight, and for the violent man that he had become. He cried for his children, who had been hurt at the hands of someone he once knew, and who would never live a day in their lives without remembering the pain he had caused them. But, unlike every other time he cried, somewhere in the ocean of pain filled tears, were a few tears of joy, because right now, securely held by six pairs of arms, he genuinely believes something that he hasn’t been able to believe since Ambition turned to Greed. 

_He wasn’t alone._

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! You've made it! Thank you for reading my fic, and I hope you enjoyed! Now for some fun facts about this story: 
> 
> 1) Janus' bouquet in the beginning actually has specific meaning! The flower meanings are as following:  
> Pink Hydrangeas: Heartfelt emotion  
> Blue Hydrangeas: Frigidity, apology  
> Purple Hydrangeas: Desire to deeply understand  
> Forget me nots: (the name is self explanatory)  
> White tulips: Forgiveness
> 
> What could he be apologizing for? And why might Frigidity be a part of that? (Hint: Janus doesn't mind gore, but he can't sit through movies that have graphic killing in them, and when Patton screams at spiders, Janus often finds himself frozen, lost in the sound of the scream and where he's heard it before. He also used to hate using knives to this day.) 
> 
> Let me know your theories in the comments! It might turn into a sequel fic sometime, but only time will tell. 
> 
> 2) to fidi mou, or (το φίδι μου), means 'my snake' in Greek  
> Angel Obscuro means 'dark angel' in spanish
> 
> 3) I like to think that back in the mindscape (pre-the split), Romulus, Patton, and Logan were all in a relationship, but Patton and Logan eventually fell out of love without Romulus there and decided to break up, remaining as close friends. Patton is now happy to spread his fatherly love, Logan is developing feelings for Remus, but doesn't know it yet, and Roman is definitely giving Virgil gay eyes while the emo sits oblivious. 
> 
> 4) The ring that Crete gave to Janus is inspired by a picture from this website:  
> https://jewellerydiscovery.co.uk/knowledge/hidden-meaning-and-acrostic-antique-victorian-jewellery/  
> The snake with a tail in it's mouth represents everlasting love. 
> 
> 5) Janus wears his gloves over the ring because he is scared of the other's judgement, and wants to keep his former relationship previous. He does not feel that they have earned the story behind the ring yet, and is content to keep it hidden away until they have. 
> 
> 6) The ring was created by Romulus months before the day Ambition proposed, and he most definitely bet on Crete taking over a month to actually propose, while Crete was confident that he could do it within the week... Needless to say that Romulus won that bet, and was probably standing around the corner and recording his friend's proposal with a camera that is now safely tucked away in Janus' room for safekeeping. Romulus also probably cried during the proposal and was most definitely a huge sap afterwards, saying how his 'little brother' was 'all grow up' and embarrassing the heck out of him. Janus watches this all with an amused smile.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this fic! I will be responding to comments, so feel free to hop into the comments and say hi. All kudos and comments are appreciated! I hope you have a wonderful day/night!
> 
> \- Aspen <3


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